Black Sheep Wall - I Am God Songs (2008)AYYYYYYY HOWDY YOU FUCKING WEEBS I WAS PERSUADED BY THE STAFFINGTON OF THIS WEBBY TO WRITE AN ARTICLE FOR Y’ALL AND I WAS LIKE “LMAO SURE WHY NOT MY BOSS IS OUT OF THE OFFICE TODAY AND IT’S BETTER THAN SPENDING THE NEXT 4 HOURS SHITPOSTING BECAUSE YESTERDAY SOME 14 YEAR OLD KID IN NEW JERSEY NAMED NOAH OR SOME SHIT PROLLY USED A ROBOT AND BOUGHT 1500000 PAIRS OF THE NIKES I WANTED AND NOW I HAVE TO FIND MEANING IN SOMETHING
IF YOU’RE READING THIS NOAH YOU’RE A WORMINGTON I HOPE YOUR MOM CATCHES YOU BLASTING ROPE TO OVERWATCH FAN ART. (EDIT: IN THE AMOUNT OF TIME IT'S TAKEN FOR THESE WALKING BURIED ALIVE BASKETBALL JERSEYS TO RELEASE THIS FUCKING ARTICLE I’VE MANAGED TO COP 3 PAIRS OF THESE SHOES ON RESTOCKS LMAO CATCH YA MANS FLEXGOD APOCALYPSE LOOKING LIKE A MONOCHROME VERSION OF KYLE REESE ON THE GRAM @THEREAINTNOFUTUREINTHIS) SORRY WAS THAT AN ABRUPT INTRO GOOD BECAUSE *SEGUE* BLACK SHEEP WALL’S I AM GOD SONGS HAS THE MOST ABRUPT INTRO TO ANY ALBUM I EVER HEARD IT'S JUST LIKE THIS GUY TALKING TO HIS MOMS OR SOME SHIT THEN DEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNN DOOON DOOON DOON DOOONE DOONE DDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I HEARD THAT I WAS LIKE “YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” AND THEN I SPENT THE NEXT HOUR IN MY OLD DORM ROOM PUNCHING MY WALL AND PLAYING IT AS LOUD AS I POSSIBLY COULD OUT OF MY SHITTY PORTABLE SPEAKERS BECAUSE MY R.A. LIVED IN THE ROOM THAT CONNECTED TO MINE AND SHE WAS ALWAYS ARGUING WITH HER BOYFRIEND WHO WAS A MAJOR GOON THIS GUY HAD A MOTORCYCLE HELMET WITH A MOHAWK ON IT AND AN EYEBROW RING I HATED THAT GUY SO MUCH. LOL I HAD ONE OF THEIR SHIRTS AND I WORE IT UNDER A BLACK WINDBREAKER EVERY DAY IN THE SPRING/SUMMER AFTER MY FRESHMAN YEAR BECAUSE 2013 WAS A SHITTY TIME FOR EVERYONE. SO BEFORE WE GET STARTED IMMA PUT IN ONE OF THOSE PARTS WHERE ITS LIKE “HERES SOME BACKGROUND INFO THAT I GOT FROM WIKIPEDIA” BUT LETS BE REAL ANY BAND WITH A WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE ISNT COOL UNLESS ITS LIKE 5 SENTENCES LONG AND OBVIOUSLY WRITTEN BY A BANDMATE SO HERES EVERYTHING I GATHERED OVER THE YEARS ABOUT BLACK SHEEP WALL: - THEY CANNOT KEEP A LINE UP TO SAVE THEIR LIFE. I THINK EVERY LP THEY’VE RELEASED HAD A DIFFERENT VOCALIST -THEY GOT THEIR NAME FROM STARCRAFT OR SOMETHING EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE NOT FROM KOREA -THEY PLAY IN DROP G - THEYRE LINKED TO ADMIRAL ANGRY, I GUESS THEY HAVE A FEW OF THE SAME MEMBERS AT SOME TIME OR SOMETHING? - (MINI ADMIRAL ANGRY BUSTER MINI REVIEW: IT RULES. IT’S LIKE THE GROOVIEST PARTS OF A MESSHUGAH SONG BUT IF THEY HAD A POSSUM DOING VOCALS INSTEAD OF A REALLY ANGRY SPEAK-AND-SPELL. APPARENTLY THEIR GUITAR PLAYER CAME UP WITH THIS IDEA OF CONVERTING 5 STRING BASSES INTO 7 STRING GUITARS OR SOMETHING WILD LIKE THAT. HE DIED BEFORE THE ALBUM CAME OUT AND IT'S UNBELIEVABLY SAD. SORRY TO GET DOWN ON Y'ALL HERES MORE DIATRIBES ABOUT A SLUDGE-METALCORE ALBUM FROM THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION) GOTTAMN I'M BAD AT THIS IDK WHATEVER SHUT UP FUCK YOU. IMMA JUST GO TRACK BY TRACK FOR THIS ALBUM BECAUSE I'M ALREADY KINDA LOSING FOCUS AND SO FAR I'VE ONLY REVIEWED THE FIRST 11 SECONDS OF THE ALBUM AND I'M ALREADY LIKE 600 WORDS IN LMAO NIHILITY OKAY LIKE I SAID BEFORE THE INTRO TO THIS SONG IS FUCKING FIRE. THIS HONESTLY MAY BE THE HEAVIEST SONG I’VE EVER HEARD. THE “DEVOUT DIVINEEE” PART INTO THE BREAKDOWN MAKES ME WANT TO HANG MYSELF IT'S SO HEAVY. ALSO THE ENDING PART SOUNDS LIKE AN ACACIA STRAIN SONG EXCEPT IT DOESN’T SUCK. IF I WAS A WEENIE WHO WAS TRYING TO ACT OVERLY VERBOSE I WOULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE “THE RUMBLING BASS BECKONS TO AN UNDERLYING PRESSURE TO THE LISTENER, WITH THE UNBELIEVABLY DETUNED GUITARS ACTING MORE AS PERCUSSIVE AGENTS TO ASSAULT THE EAR, LETTING UP ONLY FOR THE OCCASIONAL RELIEF FROM THE SONIC ONSLAUGHT, WHILE THE VOCALS HOWL IN A MID-PITCHED SNARL, ACTING NOT OUT OF THE PROTOTYPICAL ‘I'M TOUGHER THAN YOU’ METAL MINDSET BUT INSTEAD RUMINATING ON THE PERDITION OF LIFE, A SEEMINGLY ENDLESS ABEYANCE OF SUFFERING THAT ONE CAN EITHER PRETEND TO OVERCOME OR ACCEPT THE FUTILITY OF ACTING AGAINST IT AND SURRENDER YOUR OWN AGENCY TO THE CYNICISM OF THE UNIVERSE” BUT I SAVE BEING A GARRULOUS PRICK FOR WHEN I'M TALKING TO PEOPLE IN PERSON SO COME CATCH ME UNDERNEATH A BRIDGE IN THE VALLEY IF YOU WANT ME TO CYBERBULLY YOU IRL (THIS MEANS YOU CESAR) CARE BY CARCINOGENIC THIS IS THE SONG WITH THE ONE RELATIVELY FAST PART RIGHT? IDK I'M LITERALLY WRITING THIS AT WORK I DON’T KNOW THIS SHIT OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD BUT FROM WHAT I REMEMBER IT'S ALMOST A METALCORE SONG I THINK IDK THIS ALBUM CAME OUT IN 2008 I'LL FORGIVE THEM. LOL I'M HONESTLY SHOCKED THEY NEVER SOLD ANY OF THOSE SHIRTS WITH THEIR LYRICS IN SIZE 5 TRILLION FONT ON IT DJEWBF348THOQAB LMAO THIS SONG'S TITLE IS LIKE WHEN WE ALL HAD THOSE PHONES WITH THE QWERTY KEYPADS THAT SLID OUT? THIS IS THE UNIVERSAL “I'M FRUSTRATED” THING YOU’D DO WHEN YOU WERE 16 LOL REMEMBER THAT THING EVERYONE DID WHERE YOU’D MASH BUTTONS BECAUSE YOU’RE GETTING X-RATED TEXTS DURING ENGLISH CLASS OR BECAUSE YOUR SCHOOL RAN OUT OF THOSE FIZZY JUICES OR WHATEVER LOL DUDE REAL TALK I HAVE NO IDEA HOW MACBETH ENDED BECAUSE INSTEAD OF PAYING ATTENTION WHILE MY JUNIOR YEAR ENGLISH CLASS READ IT I WAS DOING THE AFOREMENTIONED MODEST MACHINE THIS SONG IS DUMB LONG AND HAS A REALLY SICK INTRO WHERE IT HAS LIKE A NOT-REALLY-OFF-TIME-BUT-IT-SORTA-SOUND-LIKE-IT FLOW. THIS SONG KINDA REMINDS ME OF A POST-ROCK TRACK ONLY IT’S NOT PLAYED BY A BUNCH OF SKINNYFAT DUDES WITH BEARDS WEARING PLAID SHIRTS FROM TJ MAXX. LMAO I’D CALL IT POST-METAL BUT ACCORDING TO THAT GUY FROM ROSETTA POST-METAL DOESN’T EXIST BECAUSE “METAL HASN’T ENDED YET” LMAO THAT’S A REAL QUOTE THIS GUY IS A TEACHER AT A SCHOOL I THINK (ROSETTA IS GREAT THOUGH NO OFFENSE DUDE JUST LEARN WHAT WORDS MEAN PLZ ALSO THE GUY FROM ROSETTA LOOKS LIKE ONE OF THE MYTHBUSTERS AND NO ONE EVER BRINGS THAT UP) MYOLDEN ALL JOKING ASIDE THIS IS PROBABLY THE BEST SONG ON THE ALBUM I THINK IDK? IT'S EITHER THIS OR “NIHILITY.” THIS ONE IS ALSO THE MOST EMO OUT OF THEM WHICH KINDA MAKES SENSE FOR SOME REASON? THERE’S CLEAN SINGING AND SPOKEN WORD PARTS AND THERE’S A BRIDGE WHERE IT'S LIKE “THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS THAT I SOMETIMES THOUGHT IT WAS NOT SO MUCH THAT I WANTED TO DIE AS THAT I WANTED TO GO ON NOT LIVING IN MY PRESENT MATTER” WHICH SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING THAT WOULD BE IN THE INSTAGRAM BIO OF SOMEONE WITH A TATTOO OF A DAGGER ON THEIR ARM BUT WHO WORKS SELLING VANS AT THE MALL OR SOMETHING (SORRY IF I JUST OFFENDED THE ENTIRE MUSIC SCENE IN CONNECTICUT) LAMB…GAY THE GUY IN THE BEGINNING OF THIS HAS THE SAME VOICE AS ME AND IT ALWAYS KINDA FREAKS ME OUT. ALSO THIS SONG’S NAME SUCKS SO MUCH IT'S KIND OF BAFFLING. TRACK IS GOOD THOUGH I LIKED THE DOUBLE BASS PART BECAUSE I HAVE A SLIPKNOT TATTOO SO NATURALLY I LIKE MID-PACED DOUBLE BASS PARTS AND WISH MORE BANDS BESIDES JOY WOULD EMBRACE THE FACT THAT SLIPKNOT IS THE MAIN REASON 75% OF METAL BANDS THAT CAME OUT SINCE 2004 EXIST AND USE THE BEER KEG/BASEBALL BAT COMBO D327HT2QWBREF2 5G2 BRUH IT'S SUCH A SLOW DAY AT THE OFFICE I'M REWATCHING THAT VIDEO OF THE RUSSIAN NAVY SEALS WHOMST ARE ACTUALLY LIL SEALS AWW LOOK AT THOSE LIL GUYS WHEN DO YOU THINK THE RUSSIANS WILL TEACH DONALD TRUMP TO WEAR A CUTE HAT AND SPIN IN A CIRCL-OH WAIT IT'S ALREADY HAPPENED *HITCHCOCK SAMPLE THAT’S ALWAYS IN FUTURE SONGS PLAYS WHILE THE CAMERA ZOOMS IN AND OUT ON MY FACE* TEN FUCKING BILLION BRUH I LOVE THIS TRACK THE LAST “I FUCKING HAAAAAAAATE YOU” PART IS SO FUCKING HEAVY. I FUCKED UP MY HAND PUNCHING THE ROOF OF MY OLD BUICK CENTURY TO THAT PART BECAUSE I HAD AUBURN HAIR FOR A WHILE AND OBVIOUSLY WASN’T MAKING GOOD CHOICES. XIOMARA OKAY THIS SONG IS DEF THE WEAKEST ON THE ALBUM AND THERE'S LITERALLY TWO TRACKS OF JUST STATIC AND BASS LINES. I GET THE WHOLE “OH IF YOU LISTEN TO THE ALBUM FRONT TO BACK YOU GET INTO THIS MINDSET WHERE IT’S ACTUALLY TERRIFYING” THING BUT LIKE, NAH BRUH THEY GOT PEEWEE HERMAN DOING GUEST VOCALS. I DON’T DIG THINGS THAT HAVE CAVEATS TO ENJOY, LIKE “OH YOU NEED TO READ THE SCRIPT TO UNDERSTAND WHY NOTHING RIDLEY SCOTT DOES MAKES SENSE ANYMORE” OR “OH YOU NEED TO BE SMOKING ANGEL DUST TO BE SCARED BY A 20 SOMETHING YEAR OLD METAL KID FROM CALIFORNIA MAKING DOODLEBOB VOICES OVER A 4 BEAT” CONCLUSION: I'M SORRY IF I'VE THROWN IN TOO MANY ANECDOTES ABOUT MY LIFE BUT YOU NEED BACKGROUND TO UNDERSTAND ART MY GUY LIKE REAL QUICK IMMA SPIT SOME OSCAR WILDE KNOWLEDGE AT YOU BUT ACCORDING TO WILDE, ART HAS ABSOLUTELY NO PURPOSE OR MEANING OTHER THAN THE EXPRESSED INTENTION OF THE ARTIST SO @ EVERYONE WHO THINKS LED ZEPPELIN IS ART LMAO @ U BECAUSE THEIR INTENT WAS JUST TO GET AWAY WITH THROWING STING RAYS AT UNDERAGE GIRLS AND STEALING FROM DEAD BLACK PEOPLE (YOU CAN PUT A DISCLAIMER HERE IF YOU WANT BUT I SAID WHAT I SAID) WHATEVER THOUGH THIS ALBUM IS SICK AND IS WHAT EVERY DEATHCORE BAND WISHES THEY COULD BE WHICH IS FUNNY SINCE IT'S NOT REALLY DEATHCORE BUT MORE LIKE SLUDGEWAVE OR WHATEVER IF YOU CALL IT DOWNTEMPO IM GOING TO KNOCK THE ADIDAS SIDE STRIPES OFF OF YOU. I GIVE THIS 4 TEENAGERS WEARING “RIP MITCH LUCKER” SHIRTS WITH THE SLEEVES CUT OFF WONDERING WHEN GUTTURAL VOCALS COME IN OUTTA 5 OR LIKE THE LETTER GRADE OF B+/A- DEPENDING ON HOW MUCH CLASS PARTICIPATION BLACK SHEEP WALL HAS. I FUCK WIT THE MAJORITY OF IT YOU CAN PROLLY SKIP THE LAST SONG BUT IDK MAYBE YOU’LL FIND IT FUNNY OR SOMETHING I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU STUDDED BELT WEARING DWEEBS DO WITH YOUR TIME. -Michael T.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Brian LesmesWherein Brian hilariously overanalyzes a subgenre of metal! Archives
May 2018
Categories |