Tinder...

​TINDER:

11:30 PM
SUNDAY​

I had always heard mixed things about dating apps. I had friends who had found amazing relationships from them and some who only found idiots and one night stands. Tonight my dumbass decided I was pretty lonely and needed to find a girl to bring around the family so they didn’t believe I was a total loner. I knew one thing from the minute I made my account for Tinder, I was an “alternative” male from my taste in clothing and music to the way I looked in general, all these preppy AAA college girls in sports bras drinking margaritas with frat boys don’t want me. I steered away from most of the “Sorority” styled girls, but some were too good looking to resist right? It was damn hard to find a good alternative girl on here as well, like probably a 1/1000 chance.
After I made my account, I added a few pictures, some of me selfing but none with snapchat filters. Last thing I want to do is show a snapchat filter in my tinder pictures. I added some of me with friends at local gigs and hangout sessions from the previous months too, that way I don’t look like a complete nobody. I wound up making a bio, which is hard, I’m not good at describing myself. “Video Design, 22, Tattoos, Heavy Music,” that seemed to sum it up.
I started swiping through, seeing your average jane does more than normal, I swiped right on a few really attractive girls, some my age and some a year younger or a year older. Nothing below that and nothing above, I was insanely picky. Some time passed and I got myself off my couch to grab a beer and make some food, I was starving to say the least. I put my phone down on my coffee table while I walked over and reheated some pizza that I ordered last night. Once the microwave finished I was walked back over and turned on the TV before checking my phone and there it was.
You Have A New Connection! - Tinder.
The first connection, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to message back that quick, I’d look desperate right? I opened the app to see who it was at least, it was a girl named Elizabeth, pretty common name. First impression was she big on animals, preferably dogs, that made me happy as I love dogs. Swiping through I saw a few pictures of her and her friends at some concerts at the major venues and one beach photo. “Computer Repair, 23, Dog Lover. I don’t message first” read her bio. Me having to message first was rattling my anxiety, but I’d do it. Maybe after this episode of Archer to be safe. That’s exactly what I did, Elizabeth replied and we carried out the most wonderful conversations for a few days until the inevitable question arrived.
“When do you wanna meet up? Maybe grab a late dinner?”
We were both really busy with our work, her more than me because she had to go to an actual office but that was besides the point. I agreed, we were going to meet up at the local Lynn’s on that friday. Lynn’s was a small italian hole in the wall with cheap greasy chicken parm, who could resist. It was wednesday when we made the plans, so we kept chatting, growing more and more fond of one another until the day arose.

7:30 PM
FRIDAY ​

Before I knew it I was outside the restaurant, sweating profusely ruining my attempt at keeping my cool. I walked in and got a table, Elizabeth texted and said she was running a few minutes late due to traffic. I got us a booth, I sat at one end and ordered a hard cider, it was a date night and I deserved this. I got a text saying she was parking and I was almost shaking between the amount of excitement and how nervous I was. I saw a woman walk out of her car, it was clear it was Elizabeth. She was just as beautiful as I had imagined from her pictures, she was in normal casual clothes as was I. When she walked in I waved her over and we ordered our food, she got exactly what I was getting, the chicken parm, of course. The blatant amount of similarity between the two of us really made me think I hit the jackpot, we ate our food and conversed and I was sure everything was going really well. I was right, she wanted to come over after dinner for a nightcap. I was beyond down, she was digging me, or so I thought.
We went back to my house, she followed me in her car and we went up together. I had to piss like a racing horse when we got back so I told her to chill out on the couch until I got back. When I got out she had stripped down to the burlesque style lingerie and was standing in the doorway of my bedroom with her left index finger grazing the center of her bottom lip. I was being seduced and it was working. I followed her in and we got down to the foreplay, but this is when things got extremely weird. We were making out and I could feel the sharpness of her teeth when we kissed, not her incisor teeth, every single one. They definitely were not like this when we were at the restaurant and that was a known fact. Before I knew it she started to kiss me neck, but she bit me, the pain was excruciating. I could feel the blood trickle down the left side of my neck into my shirt, it stung, the bite stung a lot. I threw her off of me and yelled “What the fuck” as my first instinct. The bite was pulsating with a dark yellow tint, I looked over and grabbed a tissue from my nightstand to attempt to place over it. While doing that she got off the ground, this time her nails were growing rapidly, they looked fucking sharp. What the fuck was going on? Was I living some sort of twisted nightmare. I walked slowly back into my closet, I had kept a .40 handgun in a safe in there. When I turned 21 I took my permit test to ensure my safety, living alone and all. I scanned my thumb and grabbed the gun, before I could cock the slide back she was sprinting full force from the other side of the room at me, I picked it up and I shot her.
I shot her 12 times in the head.
I had no clue what was happening so I went back in the safe and grabbed my second magazine. At this point, I had no clue if she was even human so I wanted to be prepared. She didn’t get back up, but my neighbors had definitely heard the shots, I needed to figure out what had happened. I stood up and walked over her pale dying corpse, she had a massive hole the size of a snowball flowing with blood in her forehead, she was dead. I looked down and saw her nails and teeth had gone back to normal, my bite was healing insanely fast.
Nobody was bound to believe this story I was panicking harder than ever before. I heard a knock at the door, it was the police. I was going to jail and if I told the real story, maybe even an asylum.

2:30 AM
MONDAY

I jolted off the couch, there was no way that was a dream. I looked up and saw pizza on the table nearly finished and Archer was still streaming from my Netflix account. I grabbed my phone to see the time and I saw it
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​You Have A New Connection - Tinder

- Dakota G.