the quality of being toxic or poisonous.
Everyone has a different take on what is and isn’t toxic in a relationship, whether it be a relationship with family, friends, or your special someone. But what happens what those traits roll around on themselves? What happens when they don’t know that they’ve embodied everything that they despise?
Partnering with someone, in any form, is a very secure and sanctified action, connecting your emotions to their emotions and seeing their ideas and opinions through a different scope in comparison to everyone else you surround your person with. Sometimes, you mistake who you truly are because you’re so focused on that other person's actions and on wanting to please them. You fall apart at the seams and start to crumble under the weight of impressing everyone they care about, and forget to keep in touch with yourself. We are all guilty of a few mistakes in the eyes of others, things that we may never admit out of shame or embarrassment.
How does one recover? How do you pick yourself back up and move on, knowing you’ve upset everyone around you, that you’ve done wrong, all while trying to make this other person happy? Sure, you realize that if you don’t stop and fix the issues present, the future you envisioned will crumble. Everything you love can be gone in the blink of an eye, so take that with a grain of salt and be thankful for everything good that has happened and will happen. Do you step up and admit that you’ve done wrong? Sure. Some things may be seen as “unhealthy” in the public eye, but what if you really had a plan, what if you did what you did for the greater good, and you were just unsure how to handle it all? We are all humans. We all slip up.
The answer is to say sorry, even if it’s not necessary, if you know that you mean it, and to make an even brighter and bigger picture out of all those broken pieces. Tell that person you love them; tell them that you miss them; learn from your mistakes. You have to make that person feel that you truly care and that you want to fix what’s wrong. If you care about them, they should be able to tell. Love isn’t easy, but the work is all worthwhile.
How does one begin an introduction to the next chapter of sorrow?
Dysphoria is a simple feeling of being generally dissatisfied with life. General is a vague term to include everything that affects one's person without having to go “in depth.”
Over the past few weeks, I’ve come to the realization that no matter what path anyone takes, happiness is temporary and sometimes it is easier to pretend nothing is bothering you than let it actually get to you and tell people what’s wrong. I’ve also realized that it’s only human to be only to hold so much in before it breaks you, so here we are, again.
Welcome to my home, this is Dysphoria.